Always and Forever

I just finished watching the episode. I don’t know how in the hell I am able to post anything. I just….*takes a deep breath*

The beginning when John was in his therapist and he said that his best friend was dead…I mean the way he said it was..

Then it was really funny (I currently don’t remember what exactly since my tears has washed every sense of happiness down) and I (probably) was like:

I loved Moriarty breaking in all those places. And then he wore that crown.

Then the ‘tea party’. I was trying to figure out what in the hell Moriarty was implying with all those fucking riddles. And I don’t know how I feel about that.

Then. Then Molly saying that Sherlock is sad whenever John isn’t looking and saying that she didn’t count and Sherlock’s face and the fact that Sherlock doesn’t want John to see that he has weaknesses, that he is ‘an ordinary man’ and that he is sad and..:

Later, in the taxi (with the TV and Moriarty’s tale):

Then Donavan and Anderson accusing Sherlock:

Then Sherlock and John running away together:

  in combination with 

Then Moriarty playing Richard Brook:

And when we find out his whole plan to destroy Sherlock by making him a fraud:

And then…Sherlock says to Molly that he was gonna die and that she counted and he needed her help :

Sherlock sending John away to face Moriarty:

The whole Moriarty and Sherlock scene on the rooftop was just….

And when Moriarty killed himself (God I didn’t see that coming. I mean I was sure that he would threaten John somewhere along the way but…) which makes him the one who drive both himself and Sherlock to death:

Then. Then Sherlock realized that there was nothing he could to do protect his friends (and especially John) and he decided to jump…and he wanted to call John before he died to say goodbye (in the phone-live instead of a letter):

And when I thought it couldn’t be more sad, Moffat decided to prove wrong. Sherlock was crying. He said that he was a fraud and and…saying goodbye to John…and he was crying.

And then he did it. He did jump and I was screaming ‘NOOOOO’ to my laptop screen and…John. Oh God. His reaction. Oh God.

And then John at his therapist. and in Sherlock’s grave. Saying that didn’t believe that Sherlock was a fraud and that he was the best man he knew…and that he was alone and Sherlock fixed that and….and he begged him not to do that, not to be dead…

Thank God, we did see Sherlock before the credits, but…what about John???